Comparison: take it positively

Comparisons are bound to happen between siblings, children and parents, friends and classmates. Comparisons are very natural and should not be taken negatively. Don’t get intimidated by comparisons. Many of you have been in situations where you have been compared for good or bad. It feels bad when people do not value your capabilities and limits and instead start comparing you with the nearest and dearest ones. Not everyone has same set of talents and has the potential to outshine in the crowd. But many of us do celebrate the small efforts and achievements which are dismissed by others. Take it on your stride and move on.

What if you are not the most intelligent student of your class? What if you are not the smartest looking kid on the block? What if you have no musical or creative talent like your cousin? But you are unique in your own way. So don’t let these comparisons bog you down. Take it positively and aim for a healthy competition.


Teachers, parents, friends and colleagues do tend to compare you with others at times. But this action has the sole purpose to instigate you and make the best out of you. If there is no competition then most of us tend to become laid back and complacent. But if we are nudged to do better then we perform with outstanding results. A few take any sort of comparison or criticism negatively. Don’t let it affect you. You are being criticized because people know that you can do better. You are compared so that you feel the sting and are motivated to do better. But many a time’s unnecessary comparisons are made which need to be dealt with from time to time.

How can you deal with a situation where you are constantly being compared? First clear out the instance where you are being compared. If it is the looks, then don’t even bother to think twice. Everyone is born with a unique face and unique traits. Rejoice whatever you have. Looks might be important to a certain extent, but it’s the intelligence, character and over-all persona which counts. A person is valued and admired because of the values he follows and the way he treats others.

If you are being compared on the basis of intelligence (usually that is driven highly by the marks you scored in your test) then remind yourself that you have other strengths. May be you are poor in mathematics and languages but you are good in art and music. You might be successful in your chosen field. I have known instances where students who were bad at mathematics, turned out to be good writers or journalists, or somebody who had no inclination towards languages turned out to be the good designer or an award winning musician.

If you are being compared on the basis of the material acquisitions that you have then avoid those people like plague. They are absolutely negative and should not be paid any heed. Monetary gains and losses are temporary. But human relationships and values are forever. And all those who compare you on the basis of the brands of clothes you wear, or the mobile you carry are actually shallow. Just remind yourself that you have more important things to do than pay attention to such frivolous comments.


Parimita Chakravorty

Right attitude for success

Right attitude makes all the difference to make somebody achieve success or receive failure. Right attitude takes you far and high in life. All successful people have one thing in common and that is to face each and every situation positively and persistently. You are what you believe yourself to be. Certainly, an attitude defines a person’s future.

"Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill." Charles Swindoll

Your attitude affects everyone. Your family, neighbour, colleagues as well as to the stranger you smile at on the street corner. You can view everything with either a pessimist’s outlook or an optimist’s attitude . A pessimist looks for difficulty in the opportunity, whereas an optimist looks for opportunity in the difficulty. An optimist understands that life can be unpredictable and a bumpy road, but at least it is leading towards the destination. He learns from mistakes and failures, and is not afraid to fail again. He knows that as long as he gets up after a fall, he is not defeated.

A good attitude will turn any bad situation into a learning experience. Attitude is particularly important when facing a seemingly hopeless situation. It becomes difficult to face a situation of extreme loss, like a demise of family or friend, a job loss, a loss of fortune or money. But if one handles all this with a right attitude and a positive mind set, then he is bound to be successful in most of his ventures.

Our attitude is an asset, a treasure of great value, which must be protected accordingly. Anyone can achieve a positive mind set and right attitude by inviting what is positive in life.By surrounding oneself with friends, that share a positive attitude will help tackle negativity and help in achieving success. Attending motivational seminars and meetings, reading good books and finding ways to enjoy life even in the most difficult situation will help to keep the positive energy flowing. Having a positive attitude gives us inner strength and a firm resolve that influences all the other areas of our existence. There are many examples of successful people from various professions who had gone bankrupt, lost companies, faced public humiliation and still came out jubilant. The only difference was their positive attitude. They believed in themselves and their hard work. Discipline, persistence and the drive to achieve success took them to the heights and they became the icons whom everyone wants to idolize.

Attitude also defines the traits of risk taking and initiative. All those who are successful, took some sort of leap on faith or risk that no one ever dared to venture. They had faith in themselves and their beliefs. They had the positive attitude to succeed in something unknown and absolutely new. There are many successful people who took the initiative to start something what others dismissed as impossible or difficult. To conclude, a good positive attitude with a zest to take difficulties on the stride is what keeps a person going. Success is achieved with careful planning and right attitude towards people and circumstances.

Parimita Chakravorty

The Virtue of becoming famous

What if I dreamt of being famous some day? Many people will laugh at me. But secretly, everyone desires to be famous, to be popular and to be known among the masses. Its our basic nature to yearn for an identity distinct from a common man. We all want to have that special something in us that everyone would want to know us, admire us, imitate and worship us. Its flattering to our ego that we have a fan following.

Has anyone ever dreamt of being a common man who exists without being noticed by anyone? Only saints can do so. As a child, Swami Vivekananda wanted to grow up to be a coachman. When questioned, he had in defense that someone as great as Shri Krishna was also a coachman once in his lifetime when he earned the title of 'Parthasarthi'-for Arjun in Mahabharata. Here, he sub-consciously wanted to become like lord Krishna and indicated that he wanted to be a coachman like him. Although, it is not implied that this was because of his popularity.

Generally, we tend to get influenced by people who are popular. People become popular because of a special identity. They develop identity on the basis of peculiarity of their style, looks or talent. That is how they differ from others. For example- Bollywood is full of famous people. Some actors are popular because of their skills, a few for their looks and others for not-so-popular reasons. Amithabh Bacchan is known for his grave acting and style, Aishwarya for her beauty, John for his brawn and Johnny Lever for his comedy. Not only actors but also people from different fields get popularity for the distinct work they do. Journalists like Karan Thappar and Barkha Dutt have distinct styles. They are popular because they dare to venture out in remote and dangerous places and have the courage to cross- question bureaucrats and politicians, unfazed by their position. Musicians like Amjad Ali Khan, Hari Prasad Chaurasia and many more in their genre are popular because of the heavenly music they play. And some get popularity for the hip-hop and pop music, which is the latest rage amongst new generation. Great politicians are known for their excellent administration, appraochability, command over subordinates and influence over people. All the famous people have something special about them.

But if we look carefully, they are just like any other common people around us. Then what made them famous? It was their self-assessment and acceptance of their strength and weakness, acknowledgement of their strength and highlighting them, strong will power and belief in themselves. They concentrated on working hard to improve on their strengths, were persistent to achieve their goal, realized right opportunity at the right time, got right platform to exhibit their talent and put efforts to improve on their talent day by day.

Some people become famous for all the wrong reasons like terrorism, drug trafficking and several other anti-social activities. Anyway, it doesn't stop us from concluding that people like to be popular. This virtue is strongly engraved in our psyche. We all have some or the other strength and if we nurture and encourage it properly, it may culminate into a distinct identity and get us popularity.





Parimita Chakravorty

Hypocrisy in the world of Beauty

 Young minds are enchanted by the world of glamour. Young boys and girls feel that the shortcut to fulfill and materialize their dreams is by getting a place in the world of fashion or beauty. Everybody wants to look like the model on the cover of the magazine. But has anybody thought that what all problems do these faishonistas or beauty queens have to face to achieve stardom and then maintain it?



Be it beauty pageants or fashion shows, glamour dolls are everywhere. Their life seems picture perfect to us. They have talent, beauty, riches and popularity. What else do they need? But behind the glamorous appearance, they have a lot of struggle, criticism, competition and stress. Their shelf-life is very short and their popularity is short lived so they go to any extent to maintain their beauty and vitality for as long as they can.

Many of them follow rigorous diets and excessive physical training to shape up their body. Some are naturally beautiful but others have to put in a lot of hard work, self discipline and focus to achieve the results. They are continuously compared and criticized on the basis of their looks. Many of these glam maidens become bulimic and anorexic. Skipping meals or deliberately vomiting after a meal is a few of the psychological disorders which this business leads them to. Many become highly stressed out and depressed. They are always self-conscious on how they move, walk, talk, eat or look as they are under continuous scrutiny. They don’t have any privacy and their personal lives become live feed for the gossip columns.

They have to always look good when making a public appearance. They cannot make a mistake of appearing without make-up or fashionable clothes. The chemical reaction of the make-up takes its toll on the skin and hair making it dry, frizzy and dull. Many of them take steroids to maintain the agility of their muscles and camouflage the effects of ageing. Celebrities and models cannot repeat their clothes and accessories lest being commented on or pictured by the paparazzi.

At times they have to bear with inhuman conditions for e.g. extremely tight fitted clothes that it becomes difficult to breathe naturally. The best example is of ‘Zuleyka Rivera Mendoza, Miss Universe 2006, who succumbed to faulty dressing just after she won the prestigious title. She fainted because of lack of proper oxygen due to uneven respiration. Her evening gown was too tight for her to breathe properly. But she had to carry that off for the entire evening for the sake of the beauty paegeant. ‘All that glitters is not gold’, aptly fits on their lives. From outside they look glamorous, but inside they all are frightened and insecure beings who struggle to look beautiful all the time.

This article is not meant to discourage you if you are planning take up a career in the fashion world. But it is just another perspective. Every career path is filled with initial struggle and in the long run a few compromises. But the rosy picture everyone holds of the glamour world needs to be seen with a light of reality. Persistence and hard work is required to excel in every field. Just believe in your self and in your dreams, then work towards it to achieve your goal.


Parimita Chakravorty