21 December, 2012

Five friends to avoid

Relationships are like investments, which reap benefits in the long run. Some take ‘benefits’ in the literal sense and start consuming you psychologically and physically till you suffocate under the pressure of either choosing to maintain it or put a full stop to it. There comes a time, when you reflect back and see who all were left behind in the journey of life; who decided to stop existing in your calendar, phone-book, and in your heart. And then you think, ‘Ah, what a relief!’ Yes, we all have had relations which went sour or developed a crack which graduated into broken pieces. Be it love, family, friends or work, every one of us have faced this relationship dilemma. Friendship is one complex relationship. It fosters between strangers and at times within family. It is a deep bonding between two individuals and if it goes wrong, it definitely is painful. We are born in a family but we choose friends and if we choose the wrong set of people, it is devastating. So, let me list five friends to avoid while investing emotionally.

1. Mother figure: She will be over-protective, demanding, commanding, and reduce you to a helpless and sorry figure, incapable of taking any decision in life. Such friends try to control your life, choice of food, dress and even boyfriend. She will call you every hour and try to keep a track on who you meet, what you say and what you shouldn’t say. She will give you unsolicited advice and ensure that you take that advice and act upon it. If you want to develop a complete personality of your own, just draw a line when you confront such a demon in disguise. Friends care, not control.

2. Know-it-all sister: Alright! How often have you had a friend tell you, ‘I did tell you!’ From rocket science to beauty remedies, from culinary expertise to bedroom and boardroom tactics. You name it and she is always ready with an answer. She is like a Google in friendship world. She doesn’t resist interfering in your life time and again with remedies that she deems right. She doesn’t care if you like it or not, but she will always try to prove that she is the multifaceted pal who you cannot do without. Tell her, sister know-it-all, ‘please give me chance and I will figure out things on my own’. Friends support in decision one takes, not decide.

3. Centre-of- attraction: This friend suffers from ADS. I did miss the ‘I’. She suffers from severe Attention Deficiency Syndrome. She wants to be in the limelight all the time. Be it a get-together, a school reunion, your birthday party, your boss’s party, she would want all the attention. She would scream, expose, throw a fit, act drunk, flirt with your boyfriend, tell false stories and do all kinds of over-dramatized actions to grab maximum eyeballs. The real problem starts when she thinks that it’s her birthright to be the star of every occasion, even if that means putting you down in front of others or misbehaving with your loved ones. Snub her right away. She hasn’t learnt to share the space and needs to know it.

4. Jealous B***tch! Competitive streak is good till the time it is healthy. But the minute it becomes a compulsive disorder, it becomes ugly. No one is born with perfect looks, family, friends, career, etc. Everyone has some or the other short coming. But that doesn’t mean that it should lead one to feel jealous of a friend. A jealous friend becomes a back stabber, spills your secrets; destroys your growth prospects, tries to steal your boyfriend, job and everything that belongs to you. For her the only pleasure of life is when she acquires what you own and prove to the world that she is better than you. Stay clear from her. It is best to let go off such a friend because trust once broken will be difficult to mend. Once you know, she is not your well-wisher, it is best to keep a distance.

5. Crib pot: She will meet you and crib about, her boss, family, work, relatives, neighbor, grocery owner, plumber, traffic, weather and everything under the sun. If you don’t meet her, she will call you and engage you in marathon conversations complaining about everything in her life. Her conversation will be full of criticism and seeking advice. You eventually become an agony aunt she never had. She will spread negativity and gloom whenever she will talk to you. She will ensure that you become depressed and dis-interested from life in general. Avoid her if she doesn’t change or change the topic to a happy note.

Parimita Chakravorty

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