25 May, 2010

Comparison: take it positively

Comparisons are bound to happen between siblings, children and parents, friends and classmates. Comparisons are very natural and should not be taken negatively. Don’t get intimidated by comparisons. Many of you have been in situations where you have been compared for good or bad. It feels bad when people do not value your capabilities and limits and instead start comparing you with the nearest and dearest ones. Not everyone has same set of talents and has the potential to outshine in the crowd. But many of us do celebrate the small efforts and achievements which are dismissed by others. Take it on your stride and move on.

What if you are not the most intelligent student of your class? What if you are not the smartest looking kid on the block? What if you have no musical or creative talent like your cousin? But you are unique in your own way. So don’t let these comparisons bog you down. Take it positively and aim for a healthy competition.

Teachers, parents, friends and colleagues do tend to compare you with others at times. But this action has the sole purpose to instigate you and make the best out of you. If there is no competition then most of us tend to become laid back and complacent. But if we are nudged to do better then we perform with outstanding results. A few take any sort of comparison or criticism negatively. Don’t let it affect you. You are being criticized because people know that you can do better. You are compared so that you feel the sting and are motivated to do better. But many a time’s unnecessary comparisons are made which need to be dealt with from time to time.

How can you deal with a situation where you are constantly being compared? First clear out the instance where you are being compared. If it is the looks, then don’t even bother to think twice. Everyone is born with a unique face and unique traits. Rejoice whatever you have. Looks might be important to a certain extent, but it’s the intelligence, character and over-all persona which counts. A person is valued and admired because of the values he follows and the way he treats others.

If you are being compared on the basis of intelligence (usually that is driven highly by the marks you scored in your test) then remind yourself that you have other strengths. May be you are poor in mathematics and languages but you are good in art and music. You might be successful in your chosen field. I have known instances where students who were bad at mathematics, turned out to be good writers or journalists, or somebody who had no inclination towards languages turned out to be the good designer or an award winning musician.

If you are being compared on the basis of the material acquisitions that you have then avoid those people like plague. They are absolutely negative and should not be paid any heed. Monetary gains and losses are temporary. But human relationships and values are forever. And all those who compare you on the basis of the brands of clothes you wear, or the mobile you carry are actually shallow. Just remind yourself that you have more important things to do than pay attention to such frivolous comments.

Parimita Chakravorty

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